never never land

I love food so much, at the end of a meal I often wish I could just keep eating. I’m a glutton, I know. I’m American. I’d settle for endless macaroni and cheese or ice cream, but at Texas de Brazil they had endless lobster bisque and prosciutto. I felt like a hillbily in this joint, but it was my birthday and I was born to be wild!…err hungry. If you haven’t heard, Texas de Brazil is a place where you pay one price for endless cuts of meat, a soup/salad/meat/cheese/olive/assortment of sides bar, garlic mashed potatoes, little delish cheese biscuits, and fried bananas are the “palate cleansers,” but I just kept eating them. Basically in heaven, I thought I’d run into Tupac and John Candy here, but I soon forget about them and started the rampant indulging fest.

As soon as you sit down waiters start coming up to the table with large skewers of meat asking if you’d like some. They have mostly cuts of beef, but also serve chicken, lamb, and pork. The meats are all perfectly cooked, seasoned, and tender. The pork specifically sticks out as it had a deliciously seasoned crust that was crispy, savory, and bootylicious.

I ventured to the buffet where I first tried the lobster bisque and a side salad with their house dressing. The lobster bisque was the epitome of cream(or bream if you’re feeling Wu Tang), the salad was crisp and fresh with a vinaigrette style dressing to match. It was like trying a gateway drug for the first time… I couldn’t stop and wanted to move on the bigger and better things.

Over the course of the night I endeavoured in an adventure with ahi tuna, shrimp salad, cold cooked asparagus and green beans, sushi, prosciutto, various cheeses, fresh ripened tomatoes and mozzarella, marinated mushroom, salty stuffed olives, au gratin potatoes, more salad, and more soup. It soon becomes apparent that the bouquet of skewered meats take a back seat to the extravagant array of sides as you could really make a meal just of that. (I think that is an option on the menu, actually.) Needless to say I was stuffed by the end of my meal and my taste buds clearly climaxed, but I did wish there was an included dessert or small dessert buffet. I guess that just goes to show how much I didn’t want to say goodbye. I would have much rather said “see you later…at the dessert bar.”

Cafe con Yumyum

Brit’s Cafe is a small corner in a shopping plaza in Lakeland, FL. Chances are you’ll pass right by it if you don’t know it’s there. It’s a tiny, clean cafe with ten tables between inside and outdoor seating. The kitchen is an open set-up so you can see your meal getting prepared right there in front of you and the most expensive thing on the menu is and all-you-can eat fish fry on Friday night for $8.99, in which you can only pay cash for. The waitresses will remind you of your grandma, if your grandma is a sweet ol’ Polk Countian, offering endless refills of sweet tea.

I must admit I had mostly been here for breakfast prior to this day as they have those annoying cafe hours from 6a.m. for 2:30p.m. Monday through Saturday…conveniently right during my work schedule. So when I found out I had a random Wednesday off, Brit’s immediately popped into mind. Finally! I can do lunch there. (Yes, my first thought is what I am going to eat that day.) So it probably goes without saying, as I was anticipating lunch so much, the breakfast there is delish. Mostly classics…three egg omelets stuffed with fresh veggies, melty cheese, and big chunks of meat and perfect home fries on the side. They do have a unique breakfast sandwich served on a kaiser roll with a morning meat of your choice(pardon me, but my mind naturally wondered to naughty ‘sausage’ just then) lettuce, tomato, pepper-jack cheese, hash browns, and egg. Ends up being a tasty satisfying breakfast sandwich you won’t find on a fast food menu.

On this particular day I ordered the tuna melt and vegetable beef soup. A classic tuna salad mix of tuna, mayo, and sweet relish served on crunchily toasty, swirly pumpernickel and rye bread and topped with melted cheese. Tomato is usually present on this classic, but I didn’t miss it one bit. It was simple and scrumptious just how I like my food (and my men.) Definitely would reorder when in the mood for a comforting quick lunch…between the hours of 6a.m. and 2:30p.m., of course. The homemade vegetable beef soup was full of veggies, shaved beef, and potatoes. It was yummy. I didn’t want that little cup to end.

My boyfriend ordered the Turkey and Bacon Melt and fries. Maybe it wasn’t called that, but with ingredients like that you don’t really need a catchy, frilly name. Turkey? Yes please. Bacon? Quadruple yes please. Melt? Stop. Really? There’s melt too? Also served on toasty pumpernickel and rye, there is turkey, bacon, caramelized onions, and picture perfect melted Swiss cheese. These flavors all meld together deliciously(duh!) with salty and savory at it’s best, but I do think next time I’d ask for some lettuce and tomato for some defined freshness. The sandwich is a little heavy, but nonetheless satisfying and yummy. The fries were perfectly crispy and a half order is plenty for two (hungry and capable) people. Even though we were thoroughly satisfied and stuffed we were still picking at the crumbs in the bottom of our little plastic baskets, not letting the tiniest delicious spec go to waste. I might even feel a sick day coming on…

Fuck Zatarin’s

Harry’s is the heart of Downtown Lakeland. It’s not uncommon for the wait on a busy Friday night to be two hours, a challenge I’d rather not accept. I’m too inpatient, and not to mention hungry.

The food is fantastic though. Apparently authentic New Orleans fare with an extensive drink menu to match. I haven’t made it to Louisiana yet, so I can’t be a judge of how it compares to real N’awlins food, but I do know what delicious tastes like, and that it is. They have Magic Hat on draft too, kind of a rarity for the restaurants in our town.

The bread they serve is crispy outside and fluffy inside. The butter concoction for spreading has a hint of chive and cream cheese mixed in. Perfect. I won’t even tell you how many loaves I can it in one sitting(yes, loaves). Don’t judge me.

This evening, my boyfriend ordered a shrimp po’ boy with grits, venturing away from his usual shrimp n’ grits order. The po’ boy was huge, seriously, the waiter could have pocketed half for himself and we wouldn’t have batted an eye. The shrimp are fried and crispy, seasoned with spicy ‘Cajun’ blend. It’s served with a mayonnaise based dipping sauce that tops it off real freakin’ naughty. Incredibly satisfying sandwich with plenty to take home for lunch the next day. The grits stole the show though. Perfectly cooked grits with cheesy, garlicky, amazingness stirred in. They were smooth as a baby’s lil bottom. Creamy as butta.

I stuck with a classic chicken Caesar and a bowl of She Crab Soup. I almost feel guilty putting those two in the same sentence because it dumbs down the most fabulous soup I have yet to eat. The She Crab Soup is so rich and so creamy that a whole bowl is too much for one sitting. It tastes sweet and salty(think corn chowder), but then you get a little bit of spiciness and pieces of crab that melt in your mouth. It’s prefect. I crave this soup. I think if I put my ear up to a cup of it, I might hear the ocean.

Heaven on earth…Monday through Saturday

Ah, Chick-fil-a. I love Chick-fil-a. I mean, we’re talking about the inventors of the chicken sandwich. These motherfuckers could probably make a believer out of me if they promised me never-ending Chick-fil-a in the afterlife.

The number five never does me wrong. Nuggets, waffle fries, and a Dr. Pepper(FO FREE!) Not to mention the array of sauces. I was a tried and true Polynesian fan for the longest, but that changed, sort-of. You see I was chatting with some friends about Chic-fil-a, naturally, and I was told of a “Chick-fil-a Sauce” I never knew such a thing existed, so I had to try it. What a delicious blend of honey mustard and barbecue sauce…I think. I don’t really know the secret ingredient and I don’t really care to. All I know is I can’t get enough, especially on Sundays…

Kitchen Delightmare

Rib House is the type of place you see on Restaurant Impossible. Seriously. The booths are old and the decor usually consists of festive plastic window clings, old paintings on bright yellow walls, and random Buddha thrown in there, for enlightenment.

Nonetheless the food is decent and not to mention cheap. The menu consists of your basic American staples: Breakfast, burgers, barbecue, and sandwiches. Get the Philly cheese steak and fried mushrooms, avoid the crispy chicken sandwich. Their soups are delicious. I don’t even ask what the soup is, I just order it and know it’s going to satisfy. They are definitely home made, seemingly with everything but the kitchen sink. On this particular day the soup was a mix of veggies, pasta, broth, and chunks of chicken. Absolutely tasty. And the grilled cheese, well you really can’t go wrong with a grilled cheese. Melty American on crispy, buttery white bread. Yum. Perfect hangover cure, for under six bucks.

Did I mention they have a drive through? Genius.

Wham Bam Thank You Maa’m

I decided to make my first blog post about a new recipe I made. I love to cook, but most importantly I love to eat. I can follow a recipe like a champion, so that counts for something…I guess. It’s funny because my boyfriend is always like, “OMMMGG this is amazing!!” when I make a new recipe. I’m not good at taking compliments so my rebutte is always “I just followed directions! You could have made it too!” Plus he says that when I throw together Hamburger Helper, so I have trouble trusting his judgment when it comes to food on the ‘amazing’ scale.

I find less and less time and energy to cook lately, but we had been on an eating out bender for week so I had to have a meal I’d prepared myself. This was a winner, I must say(amazing would probably be stretching it, but hey! why not?) It was quick, easy, and didn’t leave a lot of dishes…that may or may not be my favorite part.

Caribbean Broccoli Chicken Salad

Ingredients
3–4 Deli chicken tenders (.75 lb)
1 mango
Juice of 1 lime
1 head Bibb (or iceberg) lettuce
3 tablespoons mango chutney
2 tablespoons peach preserves
3 tablespoons plain low-fat yogurt
2 tablespoons light mayonnaise
1 (12-oz) bag broccoli slaw
1/2 cup golden raisins
2 tablespoons sunflower seeds

Prep

• Cut chicken tenders into thin slices.
• Peel and slice mango (1 1/2 cups).
• Squeeze lime for juice (1 tablespoon).
• Remove lettuce core; separate individual leaves.

Steps

1. Prepare dressing in medium bowl by whisking chutney, preserves, and lime juice until smooth. Stir in yogurt and mayonnaise until blended.
2. Add slaw, chicken, mango, and raisins; toss to coat.
3. Arrange lettuce leaves on serving plates and top with salad; sprinkle with sunflower seeds. Serve.

I omitted the lettuce leaves. I didn’t think they would really add anything to the dish and I definitely didn’t miss them. The salad was so yum. The dressing was a refreshing mixture of sweet and tangy, the broccoli slaw was so fresh and crisp, and the chicken tenders add that savory touch, the seasoning and fried yum yum contrasts with the sweetness of the delicate dressing perfectly. Certainly could be a meal on it’s own.

The hunk of meat in question is a rib-eye marinated for about 30 minutes in sun dried tomato salad dressing and packet of brown gravy mix. That’s all folks. So easy. I actually just made them on the stove because I didn’t feel like dealing with the grill. I’m lazy. The dressing and gravy make a gold trophy mix of sweet and salty. They were really delicious, but honestly probably would have been better on the grill. Next time.